The last half of 2022 left me exhausted. I found myself struggling to conform to a lifestyle and past dream that no longer served me. Just over two weeks ago was my last day at that self-professed dream job and the relief I felt after handing in my resignation was the sign I had made the right choice. It was as if I had been holding my breath for months and I finally felt I could breathe knowing I was closing that tumultuous chapter and starting anew. In the two weeks since, I’ve been nurturing and enjoying the peaceful and creative side of myself that felt so lost and crushed in the last few months.
This year, I would like to continue that feeling. I decided to write this blog not just to encourage me to write more and nurture my creativity, but to share my love of peaceful and slow living. For so many years I’ve felt guilty for not having more ambition when surrounded by a society that values accomplishments and awards. Its ok to want to downsize your life or to take a pay cut in order to prioritize your health, both mental and physical. Just because someone else values high productivity and staying busy, does not mean it will serve you in the same way. Finding your pace of life and your sweet spot is what matters.
In starting this blog, I want to let go of the feelings of inadequacy I have with my writing. By writing more I hope to not only improve my style of writing but allow myself to write without feeling embarrassed by imperfection. So many times, this past month, I’ve written my thoughts down in a journal or on a note app in my phone, thinking it would be something I’d use in my first blog post. And so many times I’ve chosen to scratch out or delete those words as I realized they didn’t best reflect what I wanted to write. In titling this blog post “Starting Again” instead of “Starting Over,” I felt it best described not only what I was doing with my writing but also my life this past year. Each time I write something and choose not to use it, I’m learning more about my writing style. This past year I left a job I thought I would love. Though I didn’t end up loving it, I’m able to look back fondly knowing I tried and learned more about myself in the process. When starting again we can bring with us the knowledge to help in our growth and leave behind the things which did not serve us.
Letting go of a dream job is daunting, but the liberation of letting go of an unfulfilling dream is the fire that I hope will propel my growth this year. I’m starting again this year on a life that I hope will bring me peace and fulfillment, rather than stress and uncertainty. In nurturing healthy habits and finding peace for myself, I hope to inspire those in my life towards finding the same for themselves.