I’ve always enjoyed having few things. Growing up, my family moved a lot, so it wasn’t realistic for us to accumulate lots of things. Whenever we moved houses we’d inevitably have to downsize again to avoid the headache of storage or bringing with us more things than we could take. But there came a point where we were no longer moving every year or two and settled into a more permanent residence. After a few years of living in one place, my closet and wardrobes were filled to the brim with clothes.
When it was time to head off to college, I brought what I felt were only the essential pieces of clothing. A few pairs of jeans, long and short sleeve shirts, a couple of dresses, and some yoga pants and pajamas. But soon my college dorm room seemed to be overflowing with clothes somehow. In just the first month of being there I probably had 10 more t shirts, free-of-charge, from various college clubs and organizations. When I’d go home for breaks, I would convince myself that I needed more clothing options and bring those back to my dorm room. I’d wear these fresh pieces but not get rid of the clothing I had originally brought with me. At the end of the college year, I found that the plastic storage bins I’d carried the clothes in while moving into the dorm no longer fit all my clothes. I’d have to get creative to move all these things, taking many more trips and using plastic trash bags. This pattern continued for another 2 years until my parents announced they were selling their house and moving to an apartment. I could no longer store the items I currently owned there. So the declutter began.
Looking back, there was no real process to that huge declutter. I must have reduced my wardrobe by at least eighty percent. The only memory I have of what my justification for getting rid of clothing was if I had not worn the item in several months. I didn’t have much interest in style or fashion at this point in my life, wearing mostly leggings and t shirts most days. Most of the clothes I decluttered felt in my mind to serve the purpose of keeping me warm and covered. There was little attachment and so I felt I could be as ruthless as I wanted. I was rather ruthless with my declutter of non-clothing items, as well. I remember my mom commenting on an item she saw me putting in my discard pile. She was sad I was throwing an item away; what that thing was I can’t even remember. Most likely it was a gift, since I rarely spent my own money purchasing things that weren’t clothing. Now, I feel a twinge of guilt looking back as I’ve become more attached to items and clothing with age. See, back then I had so much going on in my life that I didn’t have time for inanimate items. These days, I’m so much more sentimental and the items I own carry memories with them. I’m also so much more conscious of giving away gifts I receive.
I’m a very frugal person by nature and so I don’t often purchase clothing for myself. Most of the clothing I own are either hand-me-downs from my mom or sister, who are roughly the same size as me and enjoy clothes and shopping more than myself. The other clothes were either gifted or bought by myself on a whim. I always felt grateful for the clothes I received as gifts or were passed to me when they no longer served my family members. Not only did it make economical sense to me, but was also sustainable for the environment, as opposed to buying new goods and contributing to fast fashion. So while I was not experiencing much financial or environmental guilt, I always felt a pang of guilt if I decided to declutter clothing that I had inherited or received as a gift. Because of this guilt, I found over the years after college I wasn’t decluttering much and in turn, clothes started piling up again. About 5 years ago, I picked up a book in my boyfriend’s apartment titled The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. This book, written by Marie Kondo, is a fantastic how-to guide on how to minimize and declutter your home. Truly life changing for me, it allowed me to let go of so much guilt I had when throwing or giving items away. I certainly felt validated when reading this book for the first time as it affirmed my love for decluttering. What I had never been introduced to before the book was her idea of items “sparking joy.”
Did the clothes in my wardrobe and closet spark joy? Well, not exactly. Because most of them weren’t ones I had picked out for myself. They were items ready to go to the Goodwill down the street and I happened to intercept before they were out the door. My mom would ask if I wanted any of those clothes before she sent them on their way and I’d think, “sure, maybe that will come in handy for some occasion sometime.” Not much joy in that. And time after time, these clothes would get worn once and then be passed over when picking out an outfit. Or I’d wear these clothes but always feel slightly uncomfortable in them. Because someone else picked them out they weren’t quite what I wanted or didn’t fit how I liked.
Instead of decluttering, I bought a handful of items that sparked joy and that I still own today. A new pair of pants, and a thrifted new-to-me pair of pants. A couple dresses that fit well. Life went on though and I never got around to decluttering the storm of clothes in my home until a couple years ago. Truly, it was more of a necessity to get rid of lots of items when this second big declutter came around. Due to some ineptitude, my boyfriend and I had run a humidifier for too long in our bedroom. We hadn’t aired out the bedroom and one day I noticed mold had formed on my wooden dresser and some articles of clothing. I was disgusted and horrified and took the plunge to throw out a large amount of clothes and the dresser. As ashamed as I was to have let a health hazard grow in my bedroom like that, I was relieved to have cleaned up the issue and felt the weight of those clothes off my shoulder. I made a commitment to myself to never accumulate that many clothes again and to not run a humidifier in my room again!
In the couple years since, I took a three-month road trip and realized how refreshing it is to have such few tangible items. I’ve rediscovered my love of minimalism and only owning the items that serve you or bring you joy. The less I have, the easier it is for me to keep my space clean and clutter free. I’m more able to nurture my soul when I’m not overwhelmed by my surroundings.
Where am I today with this journey? I’ve been spending more time at home in the last couple weeks and that has me inspired to reevaluate the items in my home. I still have more items than I’d like in my home, specifically pieces of clothing. I want to intentionally declutter my closet with the intention of only keeping those that bring me joy. But I’m in no rush this year. I’d like to experiment with the pieces I own and allow myself time to determine what works for me and what doesn’t. I want to make this process enjoyable and a form of self care. I’ll be saying no to any hand-me-downs unless I declutter two other pieces of clothing in return. I plan to only bring in items that bring me joy and only in a sustainable way. I don’t have a set number for how many items of clothing I’d like to own. I’m gong with my intuition for now and trying to make each day a new opportunity to experiment and revisit the clothes I haven’t worn in some time. I’m excited to learn more about my style this year and see how my closet looks this time next year.